Sports

Current events in the sports world.

Tiger Woods Hurt in Crash

Unnamed publicist denies “family despute over affiar” led to Tiger Woods crashing car and being assaulted by wife.

And we deny all knowledge of what the hell happened too. But if we had to guess we think that the tabloids will have an excellent “off-golf-season” with Mr. Woods, et al.

High heat adds to risk of heating up

(BCoutdoors) High heat, smoke and fires continue to drive residents to shelter, cooler climes and less threatening circumstances. Aliens still not welcome.

With several small communities still on fire watch and evacuation alert the BC Liberal government hopes to avoid any talk of overspending by introduing a fall legislation package that aims at “limiting alien exposure” as the 2010 Olympic Games draw closer.

Gordon Campbell was quoted as being rumored to say that “despite previous visits” no aliens will be granted immunity in BC without a “spacecraft tax” and “sponsoring fee” being paid. He was possibly drunk at the time, said the organizer of the BC chapter of MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) at a rally to support the unveling of yet another disappointing canadian Olympic Hockey jersey.

Sure, all Canadians want red maple leafs on a white shirt… GAWDDAMN. Not going to go very far to paying off the estimated $CDN 2 Billion taxpayer debt (estimated by IAOnews.com financial consultant Red Buttonsontop) due March 2010.

 

February 2012
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